We dads know that beauty is more than appearance…but appearance matters a lot to your daughter. That’s just a reality.
She will initially define beauty as how she looks on the outside. So point out specific ways she is beautiful on the outside. Yes, compliment her face, hair, body, clothes, etc. in appropriate…non creepy…ways.
A dad has the power to help her believe that beauty really is more about who she is…the kind of person she is on the inside.
Point out specific ways she is beautiful on the inside. Use words like “beautiful” and “gorgeous” to brag on her personality, attitude, faith, decision-making ability, the kind of friend she is, etc.
You will shape your daughter’s definition of “beautiful.”
Over and over and over and over, tell her how beautiful she is on the outside…but mostly how beautiful she is on the inside.
We dads have to make a lot of decisions. Some feel heavy. Some don’t. But they all have consequences.
“If you want to make good decisions for you and your family, you need a decision-making filter that prioritizes your actual life and keeps you focused on the things that matter the most.”
“So that medium yes, that I-feel-like-I-should yes, that guilty yes, that coerced yes, that I-actually-hate-this-thing yes, that I-guess-so yes, that who-else-will-do-it yes, that careless yes, that default yes, that resentful yes, that I-probably-shouldn’t-but-struggle-with-boundaries yes? NO. Nope.”
“Now, the things that make your heart race, your blood pump, the fire in your belly burn, your gifts to leap to life, and keep your family and home healthy and strong…the hell yeses? ALL IN, BABY.”
Dads…say “No!” That’s the best answer sometimes…oftentimes…for all the opportunities that wil come your way, your kid’s way, your family’s way.
Dads…say “Yes!” That can be the best answer for the right opportunities at the right time for the right reason.
Thanks to my wife for sharing these words from Jen Hatmaker with me.
Wednesday, March 14 at 10am local time is National School Walkout Day. For at least 17 minutes (one minute for each person killed at Stoneman Douglas High School in FL) students are encouraged to walk out of school or hold some type of rally as a memorial and a protest action.
Like most things in life, this is a big deal to some students and some schools. And it is hardly noticed by some students and some schools.
Ask your teenager…Listen to your teenager…Find out if it is a big deal to them.
If it is a big deal to them, why is it a big deal?
Is it a way to honor the lives of those killed?
Is it about gun violence?
Is it a way to stand up against violence in general?
Is it a way for them to say they don’t feel safe in school?
Is it a way to show unity and link arms with their fellow students?
Is it about advocating for new gun laws?
Is it a way to grieve school shootings?
Is it a way to be heard?
Is it something they want to do because everyone else seems to care?
Don’t just assume you know how your student feels and why this is a big deal to them. Don’t assume they just want to get out of class or be disrespectful.
It’s ok if your kid has a different view of guns, gun laws, National School Walkout Day, protests, etc. than you do. Don’t damage your relationship with them over having different opinions.
Have respectful conversations with your teenager. Listen to them more than you talk to them.
Oh, if your teenager doesn’t really care about National School Walkout Day, that’s ok. Don’t try to force them to care about something.
If you live in the Atlanta area (where I live) and are curious how local school districts are handling this, click here to learn more.