Being Faithful To Your Wife Is Boring

  • Being “faithful” to your wife sounds like a win. But what if it’s more like a tie? You know the old saying…A tie is like kissing your sister. No one likes a tie.
  • For a lot of dads, “faithfulness becomes a code word for passivity. But you can coexist with a woman without loving her. Your marriage may look good but not feel good.”
  • “Being devoted, on the other hand, means transitioning from passive endurance of your marriage to passionate exploration of your wife.”
  • “True men devote themselves to deepening their wives’ beauty.”
  • I’m loving the book The Dude’s Guide to Manhood by @darrinpatrick. Quotes above come from the book.

Dads Who Travel

  • I’m in two airplanes and three airports today, so I’m thinking about us dads who have to travel.
  • When you travel, leave home as late as you can and get home as soon as you can.
  • When possible, schedule your trips around your family’s schedule…not your client’s schedule or your schedule.
  • Leave your wife and kids notes and/or surprises.
  • Bring everyone back something fun…I’ve learned every airport sells some kind of gummy candy that represents their state. Thanks, FL, for the gummy alligators.
  • Say no to work at some point before or after your trip so you can say yes to your family.

Your Kids Will Not Want To Be Just Like You

  • One day, your kids will say, “Yeah, I want to be like my dad, he…” And they’ll talk about your best characteristics.
  • And one day they’ll say, “No, I don’t want to be like my dad, he…” And they’ll talk about your…well, your other characteristics.
  • It’s inevitable, your kids will not want to be just like you. They’re unique individuals.
  • And you’re not perfect. You never will be.
  • But you can always be better…learn new behaviors…grow…stop old habits.
  • Give them more and more reasons to be like their dad.

How To Teach Your Kids Interdependence

  • Interdependence is when you are dependent upon those around you and they are dependent upon you…mutual dependence.
  • It’s a word used to describe winning teams…and families.
  • If you want kids who value and live out interdependence, be an adult who values and lives it out.
  • In everyday situations, point out how each family member is dependent upon each other…including you.
  • Put yourself in interdependent relationships…small groups, accountability relationships, work teams, etc.
  • Talk about the importance of your interdependent relationships in front of your kids.
  • Show your kids the importance of truly doing life with other people.

Put Your Kids In Situations Where They Have To Work To Achieve Something

  • “Genuine self-esteem is built from achievement not just affirmation.” – @TimElmore
  • Yes, we need to affirm and encourage our kids. They need to know we believe in them.
  • But…if we want to set them up for future independence and success and self-worth, they must achieve things on their own.
  • Put your kids in situations where they have to work to achieve something.
  • Don’t step in when they’re struggling and asking questions and do it for them.

Lessen Your Wife’s Insecurities

  • Your wife has insecurities. You do too…but that’s another post for another day.
  • Do you know what her insecurities are?
  • Watch her. Listen to her. Just ask her.
  • Most importantly, do you know why she is insecure about those things? What is the true source?
  • Now, make it your mission to build her up in those areas.
  • Lessen her insecurity.
  • Remove the questions she has about herself…or at least give her new answers to those questions.

Know The “Why” About Your Kid

  • Your kid is unique.
  • Learn what makes them unique…their thoughts, actions, words, habits, likes, dislikes, tendencies, mental processes, dreams, etc.
  • Sure, know the “what” and “how” about them. But work hard to know the “why” about them.
  • Know them better than they know themselves…at least until they’re an adult.
  • Help them be the best version of who they naturally are.