What Triggers You To Overreact?

  • We dads can overreact and blow up at our family in ways that even surprise ourselves.
  • Sometimes it feels like there is no good reason for how we overreact. But maybe there are good reasons.
  • We all have unique triggers that can cause us to respond this way.
  • Do you know your triggers? Start paying attention to what happens and how you feel right before you overreact.
  • In the future, recognize those situations and feelings before they happen or when they’re happening and avoid overreacting.
  • In the spirit of transparency, here are my triggers:
    • When I am hungry.
    • When I am tired.
    • When I am distracted by stress.
    • When there are financial issues.
    • “Big” conversations after 9pm.
    • When I feel disrespected.

Just Drive

  • Trips, hobbies, experiences, dates…all of these are great ways to make memories and build relationships with your child.
  • But there may be a better, cheaper, easier way.
  • Go for a ride with your child. Yep, just be in the car with them.
  • Conversations happen.
  • Fun happens.
  • Relationships happen.

Fight For Your Family To Not Be Normal

  • Left alone, your family will become more and more complex over time. Unfortunately, that has become accepted as “normal.”
  • Complexity means busier, more complicated, not relationship friendly, harder to manage, more difficult to lead, etc.
  • The opposite of complexity is simplicity.
  • Fight for simplicity in your family.
  • Be intentional about your schedules, relationships, decisions, values, etc.
  • This fight never ends.

How To Spiritually Lead Your Child (And Avoid One Of My Dad’s Biggest Regrets)

  • Last week I posted about one of my dad’s biggest regrets. Below are some thoughts on how to avoid having this same regret.
  • There’s no perfect way to lead your child spiritually, but there are some habits that help.
  • Your personal relationship with Jesus must be a priority that naturally comes out in your life.
  • Intentionally “hand off” your relationship with Jesus to your child. Pray with them. Talk with them. It’s not going to just happen.
  • Don’t be a lone ranger. Partner with others (your church, family, friends, babysitters, small group, etc.) who will say the same things you are and who will pray for and encourage your family.

One Of My Dad’s Biggest Regrets

  • 6 years ago my dad apologized to me for not being involved in a specific part of my life when I was a kid.
  • I failed to grow up and become a professional athlete, but my dad didn’t regret his involvement in the athletic part of my life.
  • I failed to grow up and be a lawyer or a doctor, but my dad didn’t regret his involvement in the academic part of my life.
  • I grew up to be a pastor (at least on the surface appearing to be spiritually successful), but my dad apologized for not being involved in the spiritual part of my life.
  • My dad now, as a dad of two adult sons and a grandfather of three, knows the most important part of my life was (and is) the spiritual part of my life.
  • The most important part of your child’s life is the spiritual part of their life.
  • How involved are you in this part of their life? (Stay tuned for a post next week about how you can easily be more involved.)

Your Family Needs You To Lead

  • Everything (teams, HOAs, companies, churches, clubs, yourself, etc.) needs leadership to thrive.
  • Your family is no different.
  • Leading your family is not the same as being right, controlling, knowing everything, bossing, being the smartest, being the most successful…
  • Leading your family is taking responsibility for the health of the relationships in your family.
  • Not as easy as it may sound, but the result is the kind of family your family wants to be.
  • Thank you, Tim Elmore (@TimElmore) for teaching me this years ago.

The Art Of Distraction

  • An injury. A fear of bees. Hurt feelings. A bad attitude. Harsh words. Not getting what they want.
  • One of the skills we should learn is the art of distraction when things go wrong for our child.
  • Not distracting to pretend like it never happened.
  • But calmly distracting to help them focus on what is better.
  • Once your child is distracted, you can have a conversation and begin helping the situation.