Balance Is A Lie But Leaning Creates Meaning

  • If balancing work and life is a lie, we still need a way to manage life.
  • Instead of trying to balance all of life, what if you learned to lean into what is in front of you (the important) and what has to be done by you (the urgent)?
  • Balance says treat all things equal. But all things are not equal.
  • Leaning means turning your attention to what is important and/or urgent.
  • When what is in front of you has your attention, you can see the meaning in what you’re leaning into.
  • Leaning creates meaning.
  • When you lean, you need a place to come back to. I’ll post about this next week.

Balancing Work And Life Is A Lie

  • For some reason, we think balancing work and life should be our goal.
  • Even if you happen to achieve balance for a moment, it is not sustainable. As soon as something changes, shifts, etc., you will have to work to achieve balance again.
  • Trying to balance your life causes you to view every area of your life as a separate box…that has to be balanced.
  • A compartmentalized life (when every area of your life is a separate box) is an unhealthy life.
  • When you cannot perfectly balance your life, you feel like you’re failing.
  • Balance is a lie.

(Next week I’ll post what I think is an alternative to balancing life.)

Don’t Be Afraid To Touch Your Child

  • Wrestle, tickle, hug, kiss, put your arm around, put your hand on, hold hands, zerbert, lean up against…touch…your child.
  • Get comfortable doing this when your child is little.
  • Touch your child more as they get older…your natural tendency will be to do it less as they get older.
  • Pay attention to how and when they want to be touched.
  • Your touch will empower and protect your child.

Moms Care About Things Dads Don’t Care About

  • Have you noticed that moms care a lot about things dads don’t care about?
  • Of course you have…these things probably create some tension inside you and in your relationship at times.
  • It’s a good thing that moms care about things dads don’t care about.
  • Appreciate the things that moms care about.
  • Your child needs the influence of these mom concerns.

Being A Better Dad Is Bad Goal

  • Being a better dad is a noble goal…but it’s not really a good goal.
  • Goals need to be specific in order for you to actually achieve them.
  • Instead of setting a vague goal like being a better dad, set smaller specific goals.
  • Set goals that you and your child can know you’ve achieved…
    • Have one meaningful conversation with your child each day.
    • Spend 20 minutes each day in focused one-on-one time with your child.
    • Eat dinner with your child five nights each week.
    • Laugh with your child one time every day.
  • Achieve one goal and then move on to the next goal. You’ll be a better dad.