One Skill You Are Not Trying To Develop…But Should Be

  • We dads love to develop new skills. It makes us feel like we’re getting better.
  • Out of all the skills we could develop, there is one significant skill that is probably not on your radar.
  • How are you at the skill of peace?
  • Are you a peace keeping dad?
  • Are you a peace making dad?
  • Is your house full of peace?
  • Some things that should come to mind when you think of a man who is skilled at peace…calm, resolves conflict, does not seek out arguments, reconciliation, nonviolent, security, does not worry, etc.

How Do You Define Yourself?

  • Most dads define themselves this way: my roles + my relationships + my responsibilities = me
  • What if you defined yourself this way: me = me
  • Life is much easier to manage when it is one life (me = me) and not the accumulation of everything going on (my roles + my relationships + my responsibilities = me).
  • You choose whether you see your life as the sum of all those things or see your life as one life that includes those things. What you choose makes a big difference.
  • When you begin to see your life as one life (not the sum of all the roles, relationships, responsibilities of your life), you will manage your life differently.
  • When you have a single life to manage, life is less complicated and it’s easier to live well.

Knowing The Answer To This Question Will Help You Be A Less Stressed Dad

  • It’s not your typical parenting question. But it’s a question that affects every area of your life…including being a dad.
  • The question: What is my capacity?
  • Capacity = the maximum you can handle.
  • Every dad has a capacity. And every dad’s capacity is different.
  • Your capacity is probably just beyond when you feel tension or stress from everything you’re doing in life.
  • The goal is not to fill up your life to capacity. The goal is to stay below capacity and live with margin.
  • Knowing your capacity helps you say “Yes.” and “No.” to the right things, helps you prioritize all of life’s options, helps you pay attention to the right people and things, and helps you know where you add the most value.
  • What do you need to do to live life under capacity? Do that!

Balancing Work And Life Is A Lie So You Need A Center To Return To

  • Stop trying to balance your work and life.
  • Learn to lean instead.
  • When you lean, you need a place to come back to.
  • Your center is the place you come back to.
  • Your center is most likely…
    • Your health (emotional, physical, spiritual).
    • Your relationship with Jesus.
    • Your wife and child.
  • Your center are the areas of your life you should give the most attention.
  • You lean away from your center because you have to.
  • You come back to your center because you need to.