What Are You Doing That You Don’t Want Anyone To Find Out About?

  • When we dads have a secret, we’re playing Russian roulette with a fully loaded gun.
  • We don’t want people to find out because of the consequences…we’ll lose something, we’ll look bad, it’ll hurt the ones we love, etc.
  • We believe that keeping it a secret is actually the best thing for us and those around us. That’s a lie.
  • Secrets grow stronger and wider and deeper and out of our control as long as we keep them in the dark.
  • When we expose a secret to the light…
    • we invite others to help us.
    • we can actually begin to experience freedom and hope.
    • we discover that it is actually possible to live without the secret.
    • yes…we still have to face the consequences.
  • Invite someone into your life to ask this question: Have you done anything or are you doing anything that you don’t want other people to find out about?

A Dad’s One And Only Responsibility At Home

  • You carry around the weight of so many responsibilities. Every role (dad, coworker, friend, boss, etc.) you have comes with a unique set of weights you have to carry.
  • But…your only unique roles in life are the roles you have with your family…the role of dad and the role of husband. (Here’s a post about that.)
  • Instead of feeling the weight of so many responsibilities at home, what if you only had one?
  • Make this one thing your sole goal at home: take responsibility for the health of the relationships in your home.
  • You’ll love how so many of the responsibilities you feel fall into place when you focus on doing this one thing.
  • Thanks to Tim Elmore and his book Soul Provider for lightening my load years go.

Forgive Your Child Because One Day You Will Want Them To Forgive You

  • One day, your child will hurt you. As they get older, that hurt can hurt more.
  • Forgive them when that happens. Let them know you forgive them.
  • One day, you will hurt your child. More than once.
  • Model forgiveness so they will know how to forgive you one day.
  • Forgiveness is not…
    • excusing their behavior.
    • forgetting.
    • a feeling.
    • reconciliation.*
  • Forgiveness is “a choice you make to give up the right to hold them accountable for the wrong they did to you.”*
  • *Thanks to Renovate for redefining forgiveness for me.

Your Child Doesn’t Work For You Or With You

  • We dads spend the majority of our time at work. That’s ok.
  • Because we spend most of our time at work, we tend to look at all people and all situations through the filter of work.
  • We find most of our success in life at work so we think what works at work will work at home.
  • But your child does not work for you or with you.
  • At work, you’re ultimately responsible for results.
  • At home, you’re ultimately responsible for relationships.
  • If you priortize the relationship with your child, you’ll get the best results out of them.