You Know You’re Really Not In Control, Right?

  • Dads love control. It makes us feel like we actually determine the outcomes in our child’s life, our family, etc.
  • So we set schedules and establish rules. We make our child do what we want them to do.
  • There’s nothing wrong with schedules or rules as long as control is not our goal.
  • What we’re really creating is the illusion of control. We’re faking ourselves out!
  • We know this because our natural tendency is to control more as our child gets older. The reason we try to control more is because we feel like we’re losing control as our child gets older.
  • If we truly had control, we would not lose control.
  • So we try to control more with a tighter grip…which means we actually control less.
  • There are way too many factors at play in our lives to control anything…especially our child.
  • Instead of trying to control your child, set your child up for success. Lead them to…
    • think well.
    • make wise decisions.
    • value people.

How To Talk To Your Child About Skin Color And Racism

  • It’s ok to see skin color. God made people so many different and amazing colors.
  • It’s not ok to treat someone poorly or differently because of their skin color.
  • It’s not ok to treat someone poorly or differently because they are different from you.
  • No one else is just like you…even people with a similar skin color as you.
  • Skin color is just one of the many ways you are different from everyone else.
  • A person’s importance, worth, value, etc. comes from the fact that they are a person…not their appearance.
  • Some people only like people who are similar to them…and that is wrong. And sad.
  • When you see someone being treated poorly or differently because of their skin color or something that makes them different, stand up for them. Defend them. Be their friend.

You Should Know When You’re Going To Be A Bad Dad

  • Every great dad is also a bad dad. Not all the time. Just certain times.
  • The important thing is to know when you’re going to be a bad dad. Whether you realize it or not, you’re predictable.
  • Ask yourself: “When am I a bad dad?”
  • Think about it. Ask your child and wife the question…they can tell you with 100% accuracy.

  • Once you identify when you’re a bad dad, you need a plan to minimize those times or even prevent those times.
  • It’s only fair that I share with you my answers to this question and the plans I have. Here is when I am a bad dad…
    • When I am hungry. So I eat often, and I grab a snack when I feel the “hangries” coming on.
    • When someone in my family is sick. So I work hard to intentionally be patient and helpful.  

    • When we’re packing and loading the car for a road trip. So I try to pack as early as possible, let the family know my plan, and assume something will not go as planned…and be ok with that.

    • When I am driving and another driver does something I dislike. So I try to stay calm and come up with a good reason they’re driving so badly.

    • When I am tired. So I try to go to bed when I feel myself getting tired. Or I do something to bring my energy level back up.
  • Help yourself be a great dad as often as possible.

One Way To Win At Parenting Every Single Time

  • Pay attention.
  • That’s it. If your child knows they have your attention…even when they’re not seeking your attention…you win! Every time!
  • I know we get tired, distracted, and need some “me” time. Me too!
  • But when your child knows they have your attention, you…
    • meet their need for security.
    • build their confidence.
    • make an emotional, physical, spiritual, and relational connection.
  • So drop the ball in so many other ways…just remember to pay attention.

5 Ways To Make Back To School As Painless As Possible…No One Said Pain Free, Though

  • Back to school is a transition. And all transitions create some level of pain for someone. Back to school may be painful for your child. For you. Or for both of you. That’s normal.
  • Us dads offer a different kind of voice into each transition…including back to school. Make sure your voice is heard during this transition.
  • How can you make back to school as painless as possible…for you and your child?
    1. Choose a good attitude about your child going back to school, their teacher, their classmates, etc. Your child will pick up on and play off of your attitude.
    2. Over-communicate how much you believe in your child’s ability to learn and be a great friend to their classmates.
    3. Make sure your child knows you love them and are cheering for them this school year.
    4. Pray out loud with your child about their friends, teachers, schoolwork, recess, bus ride, homework, locker, _____ (whatever they’re anxious about), etc. Don’t worry about praying out loud…you can’t mess it up.
    5. Celebrate your child going back to school. Get some ice cream, go to dinner, buy a cake, throw some confetti…do something fun around the time they go back!
  • And if the back to school transition causes you a lot of pain, remember, football season is almost here!