Saying “That’s Just Who I Am.” Is Hurting You

  • Ever said or thought, “That’s just who I am.”?
  • “That’s just who I am.” usually follows something we just did…that we know we should not have done.
  • Maybe that is who you are. But that does not mean it’s okay to be that way.
  • You expect your child’s actions and words to improve as they grow older. Why not yours?
  • Be an improved and improving version of yourself.
  • What can you do today to remove ”That’s just who I am.” from your vocabulary?

How To Be A More Patient Dad

  • Being a patient dad is not about waiting less…it’s about waiting well.
  • We’re usually impatient because someone is not doing what we want when we want. Sounds kinda selfish, doesn’t it?
  • An impatient dad looks like one of these…
    • trying to hurry others
    • controlling (or trying to control) others
    • acting annoyed or bothered
  • A dad working on patience…
    • creates more time margin for himself and those around him
    • changes his expectations
    • works on himself before he works on others

What To Do When Your Child Hurts Your Feelings

  • Yes, dads have feelings. We’ll keep that just between us.
  • It is okay to admit that there are times when your child hurts your feelings. It’s not a sign of weakness in you. It’s reality because you are a person with feelings.
  • If your child can control some of their body movements or say words, they are capable of hurting your feelings.
  • When they hurt your feelings, tell them. “It hurt my feelings when…” You’re probably making them aware of something they never thought of.
  • Forgive them in your heart. Forgive them out loud in front of them.
  • Communication and forgiveness pave the way to a great relationship.

When Are Your Insecurities Affecting Your Child?

  • An insecure kid becomes an insecure teen who becomes an insecure adult who becomes an insecure dad. That’s you and me.
  • You walk around with insecurities. Are you aware of and honest about them?
  • You unintentionally project your insecurities onto your kid…
    • the schedule you create
    • the clothes you make them wear
    • how you use alcohol
    • how and why you eat
    • how you talk to your child
    • how you react when your child does or says something
    • the pressure you put on your kid to succeed at sports, academics, the arts, etc.
  • Help yourself and your kid by talking about your insecurities with a friend, mentor, small group, or counselor. Getting your insecurities out of the dark gives them less control over you and your kid.
  • Insecurities that stay in the dark become dangerous to you and your kid.