Is It Easy To Be Married To You?

  • Your marriage directly affects your parenting…so do everything you can to have a great marriage.
  • Avoid drama in your life.
  • Prevent conflict as much as you can.
  • Resolve conflict as fast as possible.
  • Don’t keep your thoughts and actions a secret from your spouse.
  • Be kind.
  • Laugh with your spouse.
  • Support your spouse.
  • You’ll find you’re a better parent when you are easy to be married to.
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Saying “That’s Just Who I Am.” Is Hurting You

  • Ever said or thought, “That’s just who I am.”?
  • “That’s just who I am.” usually follows something we just did…that we know we should not have done.
  • Maybe that is who you are. But that does not mean it’s okay to be that way.
  • You expect your child’s actions and words to improve as they grow older. Why not yours?
  • Be an improved and improving version of yourself.
  • What can you do today to remove ”That’s just who I am.” from your vocabulary?

How To Be A More Patient Dad

  • Being a patient dad is not about waiting less…it’s about waiting well.
  • We’re usually impatient because someone is not doing what we want when we want. Sounds kinda selfish, doesn’t it?
  • An impatient dad looks like one of these…
    • trying to hurry others
    • controlling (or trying to control) others
    • acting annoyed or bothered
  • A dad working on patience…
    • creates more time margin for himself and those around him
    • changes his expectations
    • works on himself before he works on others

What To Do When Your Child Hurts Your Feelings

  • Yes, dads have feelings. We’ll keep that just between us.
  • It is okay to admit that there are times when your child hurts your feelings. It’s not a sign of weakness in you. It’s reality because you are a person with feelings.
  • If your child can control some of their body movements or say words, they are capable of hurting your feelings.
  • When they hurt your feelings, tell them. “It hurt my feelings when…” You’re probably making them aware of something they never thought of.
  • Forgive them in your heart. Forgive them out loud in front of them.
  • Communication and forgiveness pave the way to a great relationship.

When Are Your Insecurities Affecting Your Child?

  • An insecure kid becomes an insecure teen who becomes an insecure adult who becomes an insecure dad. That’s you and me.
  • You walk around with insecurities. Are you aware of and honest about them?
  • You unintentionally project your insecurities onto your kid…
    • the schedule you create
    • the clothes you make them wear
    • how you use alcohol
    • how and why you eat
    • how you talk to your child
    • how you react when your child does or says something
    • the pressure you put on your kid to succeed at sports, academics, the arts, etc.
  • Help yourself and your kid by talking about your insecurities with a friend, mentor, small group, or counselor. Getting your insecurities out of the dark gives them less control over you and your kid.
  • Insecurities that stay in the dark become dangerous to you and your kid.

4 Ways To Make This Summer Your Family’s Best Summer

  • The start of summer means the start of a new season for your family.
  • Seasons begin and end whether we want them to or not…whether we’re ready or not.
  • When you embrace every season, you can make the most of every season.
  • This summer…
    1. go a new pace…change something about your schedule.
    2. find a new place…visit somewhere you’ve never been.
    3. have a new conversation…ask a new question, talk about something new.
    4. do a new activity…try something you’ve never tried.

How To Make Better Decisions For Your Child

  • You will make thousands of decisions for your child as they grow up.
  • Your decisions affect the decisions your child will make and the adult they will become. How’s that for pressure?!
  • If you’re really honest with yourself, you often make these decisions based on…
    • fear
    • comparison
    • how you feel in the moment
    • expectations
    • keeping up with the {you know the family we’re talking about}
  • Decisions based on in-the-moment emotions are not the best decisions.
  • Decisions based on a preferred destination are better decisions.
  • What is your preferred destination for your child…who do you want them to become?
  • Knowing where you want them to end up will make your decisions today easier.

Laugh At Yourself…Often

  • Let’s be honest…even when we dads are trying to be serious, we’re actually pretty funny.
  • The things we say. The things we do. How we say and do what we do.
  • It’s good for us to develop the habit of laughing at ourselves.
  • And let’s be honest…your kid is probably laughing at you from time to time…probably a lot of the time.
  • Don’t take yourself too seriously.
  • Laugh at yourself in front of your child. Teach them the habits of humility and humor.

Are You Busy Because You Have To Be Or Because You Want To Be

  • We are busy because we have to be busy only if someone is forcing things on our calendar.
  • For just about all of us, no one is forcing us to be busy. But it doesn’t feel that way.
  • Why do we choose to be busy when one of our biggest complaint is we are too busy? Being busy…
    • causes us to avoid relationship conflicts we need to resolve.
    • eliminates the silence we need to think…about ourselves, our families, life, God, etc. Silence scares most of us.
    • makes us feel like we’re significant. After all, a full calendar is an important calendar, right?
    • causes us to think we’re okay. It does not give us the margin to evaluate ourselves and get better.
    • means we do not have time to have real conversations with the important people in our lives.
    • is easy because everyone else is busy. And our goal for a lot of years has been to fit in, right?
  • So…why are you choosing to be busy? What are you avoiding or hiding from?
  • Stop complaining about being busy and take ownership of your schedule and your life.

What To Do When Your Child Gets Their Bad Behavior From You

  • It’s inevitable. Your child will do something that makes you mad or sad…and you’ll realize they got that behavior from you…the need to always be right, procrastination, gossip, a temper, sarcasm, messiness, not listening well, being a rule-breaker, etc.
  • Don’t make excuses for or ignore their behavior that comes from you.
  • And don’t be a hypocrite creating negative consequences for your kid’s behavior while you do the same thing.
  • How do you respond when your child messes up and they’re just repeating your behavior?
    • Be open with them. Let them know that they got that behavior from you (via genetics or copying.) But that does not make it okay.
    • When your child does something that is not good, there should be negative consequences because of that behavior. Even if they got it from you.
    • If you still do this behavior, stop! Let them see you changing and improving.
    • Share with them how that behavior has hurt you and others in the past.
    • Only if this is true…tell them how you’ve worked on changing or stopping that behavior. Tell them about the positive consequences you’ve experienced.